"Your eyes speak for you, Jeannie," her friend answered. Instead of the standard greeting, "How are you?" say, "I came to be with you for awhile." "I hate my mirror!" one aging patient exclaimed. "Your eyes say so much!" The old and ill may fear their appearance has become so shocking that friends will no longer care to visit. She ran the tape recorder while a 90-year-old recalled cherished moments for her family. You can either play favorite tapes or do what a friend of mine did. Or bring a book, a game, a radio, or a cassette player. You could ask: "Would you like me to write some notes for you? Tell me what to say." Take along something to do together if silence becomes uncomfortable. What is there to talk about or to do? Can you draw out memories of his or her life and the people in it? His or her work? Hobbies? Travels? If you remain standing, you give the impression you will leave at any moment. Instead, try: "I came to be with you for a while." Place your chair fairly close, where your friend can see you without straining. Your friend may be depressed or in discomfort, yet trying not to give in to negative thinking. Should you say a warm "How are you?" Not always.
Here are some suggestions for making your visits effective.Įntering the room. Perhaps your friend sees little to look forward to.Ĭan visits to those in nursing homes make a difference? Medical personnel, caregivers, and the patients themselves say yes. Worse, your friend is separated from the people he or she loves, and death has taken many friends. Your friend's world has become very small?the call bell, the bedside table, the curtain around the bed, the nursing station down the hall.Īfter making decisions for a lifetime, your friend is left with a day that proceeds on schedule?waking up, bathing, meals, enjoying activities, going to bed. A friend has just moved into a nursing home.
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